4 Powerful Habits To Get Out Of Your Own Way In Business

The Powerful Habits To Get Out Of Your Own Way In Business and keep taking action in the face of fear and doubt

In this article, I’ll share 4 powerful habits that changed my life and business so far

It helped me move to get out of my own way. I have two mental habits and two behavioral habits

Let’s go!!!

1-Journaling

I know that plenty of people on the internet recommends it and me too!!

Because it can change your everyday life if you do it consistently.

It can move you from being overwhelmed to being calm about what you have to do in your business and make things simple and easy to execute.

Get clarity and answers about things in your business and life,

There are many ways to approach it but my favourite ways to use it is coaching myself, brain dump or mental cleanse, asking Qs

to know myself and think differently and I am exploring using the future self more 

It helped me get out of my own way, have more control over my action, takes more courageous action,

steps into the version of myself I want to be in the moment and stop the fear loop in my brain

You can’t see from a lens that is dirty that’s why you can’t break from the cycle of thinking you’re in

without cleansing your eyes first and that’s precisely what journaling help you with

>>>When you become aware you can choose differently otherwise you can’t, fact!!

As perfectionist entrepreneurs, we can get ourselves stuck easily in our businesses

Due to confusion, overwhelm, overthinking, overcomplicating, all or nothing and procrastinating…

All of that is Because of fear, doubt, feeling shame, embracement from being not competent, adequate and not enough (you can’t do anything to fix it)

and being afraid people will judge us, laugh at us, make fun of us and make us, feel stupid so, we sabotage our businesses so hard

And that’s where journaling can be your friend in helping you get out of your own way and get back on track or stay on track

You can’t keep pushing when you don’t know what are you up against because, in the end, you’ll falter (avoid, hide)

Recently, I had so much mental drama about choosing my niche and ideal client avatar. I was in my own way.

I couldn’t sell or do anything until I’ve done it.

I was trying without realizing to choose the perfect niche which is why I took months thinking about it,

searching I couldn’t come up with anything original and didn’t know if what I have is right.

when I finally had enough and journaled I was able to see what I was doing and move from it

Why should you try it even if you tried it before and didn’t get benefits from it?

1st, you need to try it for a while at least a month before making any judgment

2ed, if you tried it before and didn’t work

It could be because you wanted to write 3 pages every day

Or to ask yourself amazing Qs that you didn’t know where to come up with.

It felt uncomfortable, or you were afraid someone reads it or wanted to write perfect sentences and thoughts 

If you nodded your head to any of these reasons

Then I urge you take a different approach when it comes to it 

Here is a simple and easy approach you can try

1-set timer for 10 min or less

2-write and make a mess>> give yourself permission to be messy,

it’s your space to relieve the gas valve

3-write whatever comes to your mind even if it’s repetitive, your grocery list,

your to-do list, your dream and anything else

4-write for the length of time you set and don’t go beyond

and don’t focus on how many pages you filled because that’s a sure thing that leads to perfectionism

5-if you’re afraid someone will read it >>> hide it somewhere no one will look, lock it up or burn it after you finish. just don’t let it stop you.

2-Praising Myself; Saying Good Things To Myself

I am proud of you,

you’re amazing,

you’re beautiful,

you’re lovable,

you matter,

I support you

….

I say to myself in front of a mirror sometimes and sometimes I don’t.

there’s no right or wrong way to do it

I started it last year after my coach recommend it.

In the beginning, it felt stupid doing it but I was willing & committed to doing what she told me because I was all in.

the more I did it I noticed that I stopped looking for validation, love, and approval because I was giving it to myself

Yes, it is still there but not as it used to be.

I am much more dependent on myself emotionally than I used to and

I don’t look for others to make me feel lovable if I felt I do I look back and see those thoughts and coach myself

to change my attention on my thoughts of love, care and approval to myself 

As perfectionists, we look for approval from the outside

because that’s what we learned as kids when our parents or teachers told you’re good girl for getting high grades.

so, you developed that approval must be earned from others.

instead of just giving it to yourself through praise and being proud of what you do and who you are for no reason.

Giving yourself the emotions you need as human-like love, care, support, significance

Is a great way to break from the need to get it from others

In business, you’ll look for it in the likes, comments, subscribers and all these outside metrics (they are important )

but they never are about you and your approval or validation as a person.

they’re just data that tell that what you’re doing is working or not nothing else

When you learn to disassociate these metrics from yourself and see them for what they are

which is only information to tell you about the business and the action you took not you as a person 

You’re separate from your business

3-Doing Habits Imperfectly AKA Keep Going Even When I Fall Off The Wagon)

Changing how to approach habits in itself was a game-changer in helping me stick to doing them.

The way perfectionists work mainly is by wanting things to be perfect, to have a streak otherwise things are ruined which

lead you to stop & start again & again until you give up for the time being

Who would want to have x on the tracker sheet, anyone? No

I know because I was one

It stems from being afraid to feel shame because you’re not competent to follow through to do it every day or as much as you said you’d do it

because you think that everything is a reflection of you,

your abilities and what you can do

so, you want to be perfect so, you stay smart in your eyes and the eyes of others

Making it easy to follow through with a habit and focusing on doing as many days as I can instead of perfect follow-through,

a perfect record that what made me stick to journaling, reading, showing up on IG & many more.

Before I adapted this mindset habit I used to do it once something came and I fall off

the wagon I stop and start again next Monday, next week, next month…

I applied this last year when I’ve done the 21-day mindset challenge

(if you want to know more read it about here)

That helped me stick to it and keep going instead of abandoning it and starting again

I told myself to keep going no matter what happen and focus on doing more days rather than doing every day.

I skipped a few days, I forgot and honestly on some days I didn’t want to do it

However, I was reminding myself that it doesn’t matter I am still doing it 

Another trick to help my brain bear with it is

Making myself do it for a short period didn’t freak my brain as if I told it that

I‘ll do it every day for life would just have been too much and didn’t want to do it.

Now, I’m still doing the activities from the challenge as part of my morning routine and I don’t do them daily

which is okay because that’s how habits or anything in life you do it imperfectly.

Building habits isn’t about a streak, following perfectly but in doing the action more by the quantity

so, it becomes automatic to you.

Giving yourself permission to do that going to help you build more habits

Because nothing is ruined if you skip a day, forgot a day or 2 you just keep going like nothing happened

As it’s normal and okay to not do the habit every day when you start it and as you go along.

As a perfectionist who has a business, it’s a way to avoid feeling inadequate

since we don’t want to put in the effort because if we do it that proves that we’re not smart.

smart people are natural. they don’t do many repetitions to get it. It just happens fast I know you know things don’t work like that but your action says otherwise.

4-Creating Evidence of the Belief I Want To Have And To The identity I Want To Have

This is not your usual habit this is a mental habit and part of the process of building your beliefs.

When you think about “business is hard” your brain goes into finding evidence to prove that.

you’ll find evidence of people working long hours to build their business without rest,

find people who are stressed all the time because of their businesses,

people who hustling non-stop then your brain goes “see, it’s a fact”

when in reality you had the belief and your brain has gone searching for matching pictures.

When you believe“People are mean, rude” you pump into someone who yells at you (brain says”see people are rude”)

A car driver starts shouting at another on the street(another evidence),

someone rolls their eyes at you as you walk in the mall you (another evidence) and the list can go on

Your mind starts looking for those people and situations.

It’ll look for evidence to match your beliefs so, things you see not reality or facts You may think but that truly happened to me it’s a fact

The thing is you failed to notice when your neighbour said HI to you while smiling, your spouse giving a gift…

They’re both facts but you didn’t even register them and

If you do remember them you don’t focus on them because that’s not what you believe

so, you dismissed them the moment they happen without even realizing it

Also, If you believe is the identity type like “I am a procrastinator.

I always do things to the last minute” lead you to act in the way that proves it and

start seeing things through that lens and your mind dismiss anything else

They are both facts but you only focus on things that prove your belief that’s why reality is distorted by your beliefs and perspective

This is part of changing your beliefs and changing your identity thus changing your life and business

You need to create a belief even if it’s not believable yet

and start acting as the person who has this belief on a small and big scale and

as you go on you to create the evidence to that belief

To make form this habit

To create the evidence I ask myself what someone who has this belief do? what someone who identify as X do, act ..?

Then start taking action that match the belief or identity to make the evidence for it while enforcing the belief and identity by saying things like”this’s like when you do it or this’s not like me”

For instance, I started creating evidence to the belief “my content gets better every time I create “

so, I started creating more content, having a schedule to stick to that will enable me to consistently create content which will help me get better.

This habit everyone needs perfectionist or not because it’s essential to change your beliefs and identity especially if you’re an entrepreneur

And doing it deleibritly is important to make the belief cemented faster

rather than waiting for your brain to direct you to these actions as it starts to believe it as you keep repeating it.

Here you take the initiative and start doing it when you don’t believe yet,

when your brain is yet to see opportunities and things with the belief eyes

Instead of waiting for others to cook for you, you go and learn how to cook for yourself

If you liked this you’ll like this article about 14 habits to start the new year

love and peace

Wafaa