How Do I Stop Self Sabotaging Myself And My Life -

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Self- sabotage is a thought that leads to a behaviour which causes you to stop, that avert you from your goal or destination, that keep you where you don’t want to be

We sabotage to avoid the pain and the discomfort that comes when following our dreams and achieving our goals

The big goal(s), the dream life you want they will or is causing you to experience fear, doubt, and discomfort and you just want to get back into the norm, to what you do and have already that happen on a subconscious level

because that’s much easier on your brain since it only requires maintenance which you are already in, no energy need to be exerted, no beliefs and images about you or your life need to be demolished or shattered

just the same old you do the same old things, thinking the same old things, living the same old life that you’ve already created and that you don’t want any more

Now you know why you are sabotaging yourself

How To Know If you Are Self-Sabotaging Yourself?

The Signs That You ‘re Sabotaging Yourself

1- you are busy but nothing seems to help you get closer to your goal

2-taking a long time to decide, to research, to plan; indecision

3- staring a new project while you are in the midst of one.

you come up with something else besides your goal to work on or start when you are already working on another goal and start not doing the work for your goal

4- you find yourself binge-watching, listening to entertainment shows.

you seem to not know why but you’re trying not to listen to the truth inside of you. you are just Numbing your fears and doubts

5- doing busy work. work that’s if you examine isn’t important but it seems work that is easy and comfortable

eg.taking a long time to decide on a colour for your logo, changing the theme of your blog or the graphics

ask yourself: is this going to move the needle in me reaching my goal? can I do it at the end? if yes, it means that this work not that important to move you to your closer to your goal

6-you’re just consuming content and you think that you’re learning but you’re not taking action or doing what matters.

months go by and you’re haven’t finished anything you sat to do

8- you don’t have a plan or a goal or your goal too vague that you can’t work toward

7-you spend a lot of time perfecting a piece of content, essay, video or whatever else

9-you are intentionally waiting for things to calm down, for a raise, for support ..etc to start or continue what you started

10- abandoning what you are doing and wanting to start something else because you don’t see yourself able to do it

11- changing your goal or the deadline after you’ve already determined because you fear that you won’t able to reach it on time or you feel it’s not the right time

12- you have a limiting self – image. “ I am not productive, I never follow through, I always don’t finish what I start..etc”

13- you have an overflowing plate of commitments. you have many things to do and work on. you help people around you to the extent that you forget yourself

14- feeling behind. there’s no behind it’s just a thought you think and circulating in the society that you need to do something by a certain age or

that you see others on social media killing it and you still not.

all of these kinds of thoughts cause this feeling

15- feeling and being confused. this is my classic way of sabotaging myself

16- making things complicated. having an underline thought that things can’t be easy or simple as it seems.

but they’re most of the time and we just make them complicated because that will help us delay taking the scary step that we must take

17- you doing a lot during your days but nothing really moving you close to your goal and dreams

18- comparing yourself to others and judging your progress, where you are on your journey based on what others are doing and where they are in their journey which is completely wrong

because if someone further than you are and you didn’t see all that they did to reach where they are right now and comparing yourself to them invalid

you can learn and be inspired by others but not to let it be the measurement which you judge your progress upon

( if you’re thinking easier said than done I would agree it requires work and constant reminders and deep realization in your mind

even after what I heard from people whoa re further in their journey it can get to you especially with social media as wise women said if they make you feel jealous, bad or less just unfollow them )

how to stop self sanotging yourself and life

How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

1- become self-aware of it. You can journal about what you do most often to sabotage, to stop yourself

journaling exercise to help you determine your own form of self-sabotage

take 10 minutes and write which one or more from the above you do? and what do you do to delf sabotage yourself? to avoid doing your work?

what do you tend to do when you have to do scary work/when you are going after a big goal?

self-sabotage is a sneaky thing sometimes that’s way awareness about what you do most often

2-when you do catch yourself sabotaging, be kind and compassionate to yourself knowing that is what your mind does to protect you as I said above

3-ask yourself” why am I doing (blank) instead of what I had planned, wanted to do, must do?”

examine those thoughts and direct them toward new thoughts and have new thoughts to lean into when this happens again

4- it’s very important to know that you won’t stop sabotaging and the only way to do that is by not dreaming, having big goals, growing and evolving.

Growth requires you to push yourself, feel the fears and doubts and feel uncomfortable which all are part of the process

Fear is an indication that you’re growing if you’re taking action but it will lead you to sabotage because your brain seeks comfort and avoid pain

5-know that you’ll become better at catching it and bounce back from it faster even if your mind tries to convince you to stay (practice that mental muscle)

6-after you catch it get back on track immediately and if you need to write your thoughts and feeling do so

I’m sure you’ll have a lot of guilt, anger maybe frustration, pity for yourself

that’ definitely what I did and get into sometimes.

being aware will help you choose what you think and see yourself instead of a helpless to independent, from angry to neutral from guilt to understanding for your mind and self

7- create routines and structure and be flexible only when an emergency occurs

structure keep you on track that definitely helped me,

have something to guide you when your mind goes places that you don’t want to go

it helps you to know what to do next when you find yourself wondering; helps you see and reflect on what you ‘re doing to know if you’re sabotaging or not.

that’s of course if you sat down each week and month to do it

8- create habits that help you not sabotage yourself as much and help you detect yourself

scheduling your time and what you do,

reflecting on what you do each month, week, day;

create a habit of following through what you start by taking on small things to do that you do no matter what for a certain time

which will help you create evidence of the habit which will make it part of who you are

9-continue doing the inner work, the mindset work

10-change yourself -image in regard to your goal and dreams

the more you can be the person who does and has that goal the more it will be to achieve it

11- develop a growth mindset. I have mini-training on my Instagram

resources to learn about it here:

Mindset by DR Carol S. Dweck