How To Support Yourself In Business And Life

How To Have Your Own Back

When you started your business most likely no one really cared, encouraged you, took you seriously, you started or starting alone.

you may feel lonely because it’s nice to have others that you share your goals, dreams & what you do with, right!?

I know

and as you move in your business journey you have no one to talk to or tell when you’re frustrated, tired, sad…etc

because no one will understand or care. You can’t just talk to strangers about it on the internet, right!

Even if they’re entrepreneurs as well. You don’t be a bother to someone you barely know, you’re not the sharing type with people you don’t know well

If this you don’t get discouraged because believe me i know because that’s me too

However, I am going to share with you what’s helping to not feel lonely but empowered alone by myself

without anyone else there

Because you have yourself and truly you don’t need anyone else to come to support you, cheer for you. And you’re not lonely you just think that you’re

it’s just a thought!!

What does supporting yourself look like?

Simply is to have your own back when no one there to do that, pushing yourself, encouraging, standing by your own side

You’re there for yourself every step of the way even when you feel frustrated, shattered, scared, doubtful, fearful, shameful..etc

Being your own parent,friend & coach

Why you must support yourself first before seeking others whom you can relate & share

Before looking for help, support from others wither online or offline

first, you must support yourself, depend on yourself because this way you build your self-respect, trust and strength to face whatever comes at you

Disclaimer: of course, that doesn’t mean to be isolated and not connect with others in your industry, and communities online of people that are in biz like you

But, to build your internal support because that is the most sustainable & always there for you if you have created it

if not you’ll always have the need for others to cheer for you, tell you’re doing the right thing, encourage you..etc

 I want you to have people who do all the above for you but as a bonus; they’re the cherry on top, a to have nice and it feels great but you don’t really need it desperately

It’s a side dish not the main course

As women we are more conditioned to want to please others, take them into consideration over our own needs which can translate into

wanting their approval, support & encouragement which isn’t always available to us

You can’t force someone to support you, to agree with you because you don’t have control over their minds & what they think. You’re Not obligated to have them be there for you

 How can you support yourself regarding your business

Note: if you learn to do it in your biz it will be easier in other areas too 

This’s in case you’re thinking” only in business but about other areas”

let’s dive in 🙂

1-coaching yourself

ti’s about your mindset, what you think & feel. it’s about looking inside your mind, telling your mind what it thinks, redirecting your mind, thinking on purpose, encouraging your mind..etc

How I coach myself?

the best way is journaling it allows me to see what am I thinking, redirecting my mind, choose different thoughts to think than the ones that aren’t helping me toward achieving my business goal

parenting (redirecting, question, calm it..etc) my mind when it starts to default to its established thinking that doesn’t serve me

When you’re in business, you have a lot of fears, doubts & thoughts that keeping you stuck

That’s when coaching can help you overcome them, create new thoughts & beliefs that support you to achieve your goal

2-creating accountability with yourself

When you trust yourself to do(or not do) something, value your own work like you value someone else works

When you stick to work deadline, projects and get it done in time because you have someone asking for it.

Instead, you do that to yourself because you’re there, you’re asking it from yourself

This is an amazing way to support yourself

How to build accountability with yourself?

By honouring your deadlines, by honouring promises, by sticking to your calendar, by doing the work that leads you to achieve your goal

3- self awareness without judgment

Start holding space for yourself where you can observe your thoughts, your actions, your feelings without judging it as good or bad just watch, observe yourself

When you do that then you can change & find peace being with yourself because you know you won’t beat, guilt yourself for what you do, think or feel

4-developing self compassion 

If you have it that means you don’t beat yourself up, guilt yourself, negatively criticise yourself..etc

Being kind, considerate to yourself when you do something wrong, not on the high standard you have

Want to learn how to develop self-compassion read this post

5-developing self belief & courage

When you believe in yourself, abilities to do something, to get whatever destination you set to

You’re supporting self because you’re not relying on others to believe in you, you’re not looking outside of you to find the power to get where you want to be or be who you want to be

But how to develop/create self believe read this post

Courage is a skill & characteristic that going to help you unlock your potential when you go out there to create & achieve big things that you think impossible

Because you’ll experience fear& doubt (this is part of it).

It easier to accept it& remind yourself that it is & move toward your goal with them there using your courage)

6-taking care of yourself,needs in all levels,stages(self-care)

You’re seeing yourself as an important, you prioritize yourself, you love yourself taking care of yourself can’t happen if you don’t.

And when you do take care of yourself you’re indeed supporting yourself

need help with your self-care read this article

7-loving yourself

Is the highest act of self-support. when you love yourself you can support yourself without feeling lonely or sad.

I won’t go much about it here but if you want to know how to start loving yourself check this post here

8-accepting yourself, don’t try to ignore or hide from the truth of now even if you don’t like it

Or you won’t be able to change or support yourself if you don’t do this because you’ll be in resistance or denial which won’t help you change or release what holding you back

Mindsets To Help You Become The Support That You’ve Always Wanted & Need

1- Understanding that it’s a process but you’ll get there no matter what, right!? 😉

 It won’t happen with a flick of your fingers it’ll take time to change your thoughts & act from the place of support

2- No one will save you except for yourself

It’s great to have help & support from others but no one will really help you achieve your goals, build your business for you no matter how much they love you

You’re the only one who can feel you, know what you truly want and have the motivation& drive to get there

2-Celebrating your wins

We tend to acknowledge our mistakes but when it comes to the thing we do right. things we achieve

We don’t acknowledge it, take the time to feel it & celebrate it like we do when we make mistakes

That’s supporting yourself you see the good that you do and take time to feel happy, proud of yourself for not jumping to the next thing

3-Be proud of yourself when you take the action, book the coaching call, get clients, show up even when no one there to see

feeling proud for taking the action, for reflecting, for working to be your best self

Don’t disregard small action, don’t disregard the work you do even if you didn’t get there yet

This helps you to create a growth mindset + feel save in yourself(where you experience positive emotions not only negative emotions),

You become your best friend that you can rely on to help you see the good on what you’re doing not only the bad

4- Stop beating & talking down to yourself up

Did you think this is a good idea? I think you did

but you didn’t really think about it you have a vague thought that this will help you get better, to not get complacent or you just did because that’s what you always did

think again!! how this really feel if you did it to your friend, what if someone did it to you!!

you’ll not like it, you’ll not want to be around that person then when you do it to yourself you don’t want to be around yourself, right!?

thus, supporting yourself

5-Being honest with yourself about everything 

if you lie to yourself, ignore what you think & feel how to expect yourself to know that you have your own back when you can’t just tell yourself.

admit with your truth to yourself

6-It’s a relationship with yourself

seeing it as relationship help you see that it will require effort from you to make it work by doing the self coaching,self trus,courage…etc

It may feels weird ,which means it’s not perfect but require commitment,care,nurturing & keeping up with it

7-it makes your life easier, simpler when you really need to rely on anyone for support , approval or validation. You have your own internal support system

We all fall into these things, I do too but the thing is that the more you become aware of them and work on stopping them, shifting your thinking thus your action. You’re on the right track

8-working on becoming your best self, developing

Thoughts And Behaviours keep you dependent on others, ruin your chances of supporting yourself

1-comparison

The joy killer, the lead in making you & me stop on our track and doubt ourselves

Sometimes it can be helpful but not all the time because our minds love getting into a negative spiral seeing the wrong in what we do compared with others, assuming that we’re wrong and others right. that we’re not good enough like them…

you end up drained mentally & wanting to hide from your thoughts thus yourself

2- stuck in feeling guilty.

have the tendency to feel guilty

if you feel guilty a lot, if guilt an easy emotion for you to access then you’re feeling awful, bad all the time which are painful and since it caused by your own thoughts (mind)

You’ll seek others to make you feel good, forget about the guilt you caused to yourself. how can you support yourself when you can’t stay present in your mind because the pain you’re causing to yourself

3- people pleasing & seeking validation

you are looking outside of you to find an answer, to feel well enough, to feel that you belong that’s why you people please & seek validation

you want someone to tell what you don’t believe, what you need to do , to make decisions for you without listening to yourself

there’s no self support when others opinion, approval more important than yours

Lessons I learned from seeking validation here

4-lack of self love,kindness, compassion will lead to look for others to do that for you

You must fill your own cup so, what you get or not get from others won’t affect but be a nice addition that’s how you support yourself

5-doubting yourself & making it means there’s something wrong about you or what you do or about to do

when you embark on the journey of building your buiness, creating your dream life

you’ll face doubt & fear there’s nothing gone wrong it’s just part of the process of doing great big things that you never have done that outside of your comfort zone

6-shaming &being hard on yourself

you can’t rely on someone who make you feel embraced, beat you every time you did something wrong or not do something..etc

making yourself feel small, less than, balming, talking negatively to yourself…etc isn’t supporting yourself. how on earth you expect to become your own support if you do all that to yourself

you must first become aware and noticing yourself while being compassionate to yourself while observing yourself doing all of that

second, you can take action to change your thoughts & how you treat yourself one by one (don’t try to change all of them at once & there’s no right answer which one to start or how you do it. start with the one that you do more often (you feel frustrated about)

I packed a lot into this article where many of the points require its own post be sure to check the links to some of the points where I elaborate more

If you need help with any point, please reach out to me via Email or DM on Instagram

How are you going to start supporting yourself? Start there & don’t overwhelm yourself by everything else

Want help? comment or head to my Instagram @loyaltyrain & DM me

peace & freedom